Marloes Horst, Marie Claire UK, May 2016
HOW TO SEDUCE ANYONE
Tips from The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
The Art of Seduction is an international bestseller that examines how to get power through seduction. This book is a must-read: it will help you build your Sugar Baby persona, seduce any type of POT, and keep your SD begging for more. Here’s an extensive list of the “do”s and “don’t”s to get to your SD’s heart - and wallet.
DON’Ts
- Don’t stop seducing. Never divide your life into moments when you seduce and others when you don’t. You shouldn’t turn the power off and on: every social and personal interaction is a potential seduction. One seduction makes the next one easier, your confidence growing and making you more alluring.
- Don’t improvise; strategize. Have a warrior’s outlook on life. See each person as a walled castle to conquer. Get into your target’s mind, make him fantasize about you, get to know his weaknesses, understand his psychology, and strategize to suit it.
- Don’t rely solely on your looks. It is not beauty that makes a woman seductive but a theatrical streak that allows her to embody a man’s fantasies. A man grows bored with a woman, no matter how beautiful; he wants different pleasures. All you need to turn this around is to create the illusion that you offer such variety and adventure.
- Don’t rely solely on sex, either. Diffuse your sexual presence: create a vaguer sense of excitement through a generalized flirtation, a validating attention, a socialized sexuality that is constant, addictive, and never totally satisfied.
- Don’t appeal only to people’s physical side, as many amateur seducers do. Appeal to their better selves, to a higher standard of beauty, and they will hardly notice that they have been seduced. Make them feel elevated, lofty, spiritual, and your power over them will be limitless.
- Don’t stay focused on your target’s words and conscious behavior; concentrate on the tone of his voice, a blush here, a look there—those signs betray what their words won’t say.
- Don’t mistake your target’s exterior characteristics for reality: the character he shows on the surface may only be a reflection of the people with whom he has been in contact, or a front disguising its opposite. Our personalities are often molded by how we are treated. A gruff exterior may hide a person dying for warmth. Look for what has been repressed or denied, and feed it.
- Don’t be self-absorbed: it will only make you look insecure. Instead, find therapy for moments of self-doubt by being absorbed in the world. Look and listen to your target, gather valuable information about him, learn what makes him tick, then provide focused and individualized attention.
- Don’t talk much about yourself. This heightens your mystery and disguises your limitations. Seem to be interested in your target instead. Make him feel like the center of attention, like the star. Your interest is so delightfully focused that he’ll relax and open up to you.
- Don’t speak quickly, aggressively, or at a high pitch. Your voice should hint at the erotic, calm and unhurried, as if you just got out of bed.
- Don’t react defensively. Defensiveness is deadly to seduction. If you act defensive, you’ll bring out defensiveness in other people. Lower your target’s inhibitions, bend instead of resist, be open to influence from others, and they will more easily fall under your spell.
- Don’t nag, argue or fight. Never show anger, ill temper, or vengefulness. Instead, be indulgent and patient. Never criticize people overtly—that will make them insecure, and resistant to change. Plant ideas, insinuate suggestions. Showing a calm, unruffled exterior in the face of unpleasantness puts people at ease.
- Don’t complain. No one wants to hear about your problems and troubles. Listen to your target’s complaints. More importantly, distract him from his problems by giving him pleasure. Do this often enough and he will fall under your spell. Being lighthearted and fun is always more charming than being serious and critical. An energetic presence is more charming than lethargy, which hints at boredom. Elegance and style will win out over vulgarity, since most people like to associate themselves with whatever they think elevated and cultured.
- Don’t be an easy conquest. People are only excited by what is denied to them, by what they cannot possess in full. The more obviously you pursue a person, the more likely you are to chase them away. Too much attention can be interesting for a while, but it soon signals weakness and neediness. Practice selective withdrawal, hint at coldness, absent yourself at times to keep their victim off balance, surprised, intrigued. Better to be ambiguous and even contradictory, frustrating at the same time that you stimulate.
- Don’t try too hard. The world is full of people who impose themselves aggressively. They leave no space around themselves, and without space there can be no seduction. Be cold, remain elusive. Don’t pursue others, make them pursue you. Suggest a comfortable confidence that is exciting to be around. Let your silence make your target want to talk. Cultivate the appearance of having no need for other people, and your target will do anything for the slightest sign of your recognition.
- Don’t be jealous. You’re too self-sufficient for that! But be a master at inciting jealousy. Pay attention to a third party, create a triangle of desire, show your victim that others are interested in you, that you might even not be that interested.
DOs
- Know what’s seductive about you. Seduction begins with your character, your ability to radiate some quality that attracts people and stirs their emotions. Once you’ve identified which dominant quality is appealing about you, build upon it. There is no point in being timid or half-hearted with it. Then, develop a second or third trait, adding depth and mystery to your persona.
- Be genuine. Do not apologize or go halfway. Most of us are a mix of the devil and the saint, the noble and the ignoble, and we spend our lives trying to repress the dark side. Rid yourself of self-consciousness, of the discomfort you may feel about your complicated nature. That is what attracts us to animals: beautiful and cruel, they have no self-doubt.
- Distinguish yourself from other women. You are a rare, mythic, valuable thing. You are a sight to behold. A highly feminine and sexual presence, even to the point of caricature, will quickly differentiate you, Use physical qualities: a gorgeous scent, some feminine makeup, seductive clothing.
- Create a visual. A man is easily deceived by appearances; he has a weakness for the visual. Craft the physical presence of a Siren: a heightened sexual allure mixed with a regal and theatrical manner. Use clothing to hint at the sexual, by suggesting it rather than screaming it. Practice selective disclosure: when getting dressed, reveal only a part of the body—but a part that will excite and stir the imagination. Your outfit must dazzle, but must also be harmonious, so that no single ornament draws attention.
- Be a provider of pleasure. Your target is cut away from pleasure by his daily life, weighed down by responsibilities. Remember that he is waiting for pleasure. Enter his life offering adventure and romance. Also be sensitive to pleasure: feeling pleasure will make it that much easier for you to infect your target.
- Focus on your target. Use your patience and attention to detail. When meeting a man, study him, go along with his moods, find out what he has been disappointed by, what is missing in his life, and provide it.
- Be interested. Make your target the center of attention. Let him talk, revealing himself in the process. Understand him, feel his pain, adapt to his moods, learn about his strengths, and most importantly his weaknesses, make him feel better about himself. Individualize your attention, appeal to his specific desires and needs, tailor your flatteries to his insecurities.
- Hypnotize your target into comfort. Make him relax. The key to making him comfortable is to mirror him, adapt to his moods. Seem to share his values and tastes, to understand his spirit.
- Play with gender. Mix the masculine and the feminine: be beautiful, with a radiant smile and a graceful, flirtatious manner, but also independent, intense, intellectual. Embrace a man’s apparent independence, his capacity for detachment. Never give completely of yourself; while you are passionate and sexual, always retain an air of independence and self-possession. Make your target think you might move on to the next man, and you have other important matters to concern yourself with.
- Be different in ways that are striking and aesthetic, never vulgar; poke fun at current trends and styles, go in a novel direction, and be supremely uninterested in what anyone else is doing. Most people are insecure; they will wonder what you are up to, and slowly they will come to admire and imitate you, because you express yourself with total confidence.
- Learn to play up your natural flaws. Exaggerate your weakness to elicit sympathy. Act like you still see the world through innocent eyes. Use a natural, childish quality in specific situations when a touch of innocence or impishness will help lower your target’s defenses.
- Act spoiled. Believe that it’s natural for men to spoil you, and they will. Never feel like you have to try to please. It’s all in your attitude: affect a powerful air of independence and men will want to possess you. A man’s relationship with you is on your terms. The moment he tries to change that, you lose interest. People are drawn to those who expect a lot out of life, whereas they tend to disrespect those who are fearful and undemanding.
- Act the way you want your target to feel. Human beings are immensely suggestible; their moods will easily spread to the people around them. Seduction depends on mimesis, on the conscious creation of a mood or feeling that is then reproduced by the other person. Hesitation and awkwardness are contagious, and deadly to seduction. Produce the opposite effect: your target might be hesitant, but confronted with someone so sure, natural, undefensive, he will be caught up in the mood.
- Be hot and cold. Your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make him come after you, delaying his satisfaction. Step 1 is to seduce your target with your warmth and charm. Step 2 is a step back. Make your target afraid that you may be withdrawing, that you may not really be interested. Once you have made him uncertain, it’s time for step 3: reignite his hope, making him feel desired again. But your absences cannot be too long, and must be quickly followed by smiles.
- Be self-sufficient. Self-esteem is critical in seduction. Your attitude toward yourself is read by the other person in subtle and unconscious ways. Low self-esteem repels, confidence and self-sufficiency attract. The less you seem to need other people, the more likely they will be drawn to you. Understand the importance of this in all relationships and you will find your neediness easier to suppress. But do not confuse self-absorption with seductive narcissism. Talking endlessly about yourself is eminently anti-seductive, revealing not self-sufficiency but insecurity.
- Be enlightened. You’ve understood something that makes you content, and this contentment radiates outward. You do not need anything or anyone, you are fulfilled. People are naturally drawn to those who emit happiness; maybe they can catch it from you. Keep your words vague, letting people imagine what they want. The less obvious you are, the better: let people conclude that you are happy, rather than hearing it from you. Let them see it in your unhurried manner, your gentle smile, your ease and comfort.
- Look at yourself from a distance. Study your face, your legs, your body, as if they were someone else’s. Then, tune your appearance like an instrument, and pose the way that will most excite your target. Become a blank, beautiful object he can project his fantasies on. A living thing is dynamic and changing while an object or image is everlasting and passive.
- Make yourself useful. Your ability to enhance the lives of others will be devilishly seductive. Use your social skills: creating a wide network of allies will give you the power to link people up with each other, which will make them feel that by knowing you they can make their lives easier. Make promises, and then follow through.
- Act like a figure of myth come to life. Assume the pose of a mythic figure: the rebel, the star, the adventurer. Your words and actions should invite interpretation beyond their surface appearance; you should seem to be dealing not with specific, nitty-gritty issues and details but with matters of life and death, love and hate, authority and chaos. Then, keep your distance—let people identify with you without being able to touch you. They can only watch and dream.









